German Skerries Read online

  MARTIN is listening to him. He throws the dregs of his coffee onto the grass.

  We’ve a right idiot on our shift. Bloody good mind, ’e’ll do owt. He stands on ’is ’ead and tells jokes. Every Fridi night ’e tekks off ’is trousers an’ runs round the block where ’e lives. ’E’s forty-three. ’E sez ’e does it to stir the housewives. ’E’s a Ccommunist. ’E’s been to Russia twice. Once wi’ the Union and once on ’oliday. When yer talk to ’im properly ’e’s some bloody good things to say. Yer know ’e sez all this about layin’ men off is just an excuse, they think they can do it now an’ get away with it – because of the economic trouble. He told us to stick to our guns. Which we did like and won – I ’eard this mornin’.

  MARTIN. I don’t know, Jack, there’s no rhyme or reason for a lot of things.

  JACK (smiling). It’s not s’bad though eh?

  MARTIN stumbles to his feet.

  MARTIN. No. We’re being told there is a depression, I don’t see much of it about. I try to understand what I can. (Walking to the hut door.) When I tap my brain it doesn’t always come up with an answer. (Bending down to pick up the flask.) The wheels have got rusty. (Straightening up.) Do people think about these problems, Jack?

  JACK. Suppose you ’ave to, don’t yer?

  MARTIN (screwing the cup on the flask). My next-door neighbour thinks about his roses.

  He puts the flask by the hut door.

  I often wonder why we have to be concerned with the way we all live – I don’t know why we just don’t get on with it. (Walking back to his cushion.)

  MARTIN is standing beside JACK.

  The sound of a foghorn, loud.

  Both look out to sea.

  There’s a boat going out.

  He takes his hanky from his pocket.

  It’s a Norwegian boat by the look of it.

  He mops the sweat from his brow.

  It’ll’ve been carrying wood.

  The sound of the foghorn, loud.

  JACK. It’s crossin’ the German Skerries.

  MARTIN puts away his hanky and looks at the sky.

  MARTIN. I think the weather’s going to break.

  JACK sits down, he looks briefly at his watch before remembering. He starts to pack his belongings up.

  JACK. Why’re they called the German Skerries?

  MARTIN. The German Skerries? I’m not sure exactly. In the Second World War when the Luftwaffe were bombing this area – you won’t remember this, Jack, but there used to be a lot of gun emplacements along the shore, one of the planes they shot down crashed into the rocks. Skerries means rocks.

  MARTIN picks up his cushion and walks back to the hut. He puts his jacket over his arm and picks up his flask. He walks back to JACK.

  They were bombing the steel. And ICI.

  A slight pause.

  It’ll be in an archive somewhere.

  A siren from the steel plant sounds continuously.

  JACK. They’re knockin’ off at the steel plant.

  MARTIN (looking at his watch). Half past four. (Offering his hand.)

  Thank you very much.

  JACK is taken aback. They shake hands.

  JACK. I’ve got to go an’ pick up Carol.

  MARTIN. I’m going for a walk.

  JACK exists. MARTIN watches him go.

  A slight pause.

  MARTIN picks up the sweet paper that JACK threw down earlier. He looks at the graffiti, slams the hut door closed and moves to exit.

  The sound of the sea fades up.

  The lights fade to blackout.

  Scene Two

  The sound of the sea pounding against the shore.

  A maroon goes off, it is very loud, the sound splinters and echoes.

  Fifteen seconds’ pause. A maroon, as before. Fifteen seconds’ pause. A third maroon.

  Lights pull up:

  Saturday, July 23rd, eleven o’clock at night. The weather has broken, the air is damp, a slight storm is blowing.

  JACK and CAROL WILLIAMS standing together. JACK is wearing a brown pinstriped suit. His tie is loose round his neck.

  CAROL is twenty-three, slightly smaller than JACK, thin and blonde. She is wearing her best dress and shoes.

  JACK (excited). Look a’that, there it is, it’s a flare – it’s the lifeboat.

  CAROL. Frightened me to death, it’s spooky.

  JACK. Sommat’s ’appened somewhere.

  CAROL. Give me the willies.

  JACK. What?

  CAROL. This place, never mind that.

  JACK. It’s alright.

  He listens for a moment at the sea.

  (Hushed voice.) Listen to tha’. I’nt it great?

  The harsh cackling ‘kwuririp’ of a black-headed gull.

  (Hushed voice.) I’n it fantastic. Remember when we used to come ’ere?

  CAROL smiles and puts her arm around his waist.

  CAROL. Yeah.

  JACK. Wasn’t s’long ago like.

  CAROL. No.

  JACK. Remember –

  CAROL (interrupting him). Don’t you get cheeky. It gave me the willies then, it still does now.

  JACK. I don’t remember you sayin’ no.

  CAROL (putting her foot down). What did I just say?

  JACK. What did yer just say?

  CAROL. You know very well.

  JACK. No, I don’t – I’ve got a lousy memory.

  CAROL. It wasn’t s’bad a moment ago – I’m cold.

  JACK hugs her to him.

  JACK (whispering). Less go inside the hut.

  CAROL. Not on your life, once you get me in there.

  JACK. It’s been cleaned.

  CAROL. ’Undreds of spiders, no.

  JACK. Yer didn’ mind before – it’s bin kept clean by the snobs.

  CAROL. I wish you wouldn’t use that word.

  JACK. What word?

  CAROL. You know.

  JACK (whispering). Come on then.

  CAROL. What d’you keep whispering for?

  JACK. There might be people about?

  CAROL. Out ’ere? There’s only us mad enough – I should ’ave said you, there’s only you mad enough.

  JACK. Thanks a bunch.

  He tickles her.

  CAROL. Stop that.

  JACK stops.

  I don’t know what I ’ave t’do with you sometimes.

  JACK. Come inside thee ’ut.

  CAROL. Get lost – ’ow many times, John?

  JACK (whispering). ’Ow many times what?

  CAROL. D’you ’ave t’be told. Yer in a funny mood tonight.

  JACK (whispering). I can’t ’elp it.

  CAROL. You can never ’elp anything.

  JACK. It were the way a were brought up.

  CAROL. Well you certainly didn’t get it from me.

  JACK. Liar. (Whispering in her ear.) Liar, liar, liar.

  CAROL (shivering). I am cold.

  JACK. Let’s face the other way.

  The harsh cackling ‘kwuririp’ of a black-headed gull. JACK and CAROL turn 180 degrees.

  Better?

  CAROL. Yeah.

  JACK pushes CAROL back round. They stand as before.

  I’ll brain you.

  JACK pushes CAROL round 180 degrees.

  JACK. Out of the wind.

  CAROL. Yer a madman, you.

  She shivers.

  Oh, let’s go inside the hut then. I should ’ave brought me coat.

  JACK marches to the hut door.

  JACK. Carol.

  CAROL. What?

  JACK. Yer me sweetheart.

  CAROL. When you get your own way I am.

  JACK opens the door with his key. He turns the electric light on.

  Light floods out through the door and through various knotholes in the wood.

  MARTIN’s bike can be seen.

  JACK. ’E’s left ’is bike. (Turning to CAROL.) That bloke a were tellin’ yer about.

  He picks a slip of paper up from the floor.

/>   ’E’s left a note. (Reading.) Couldn’t get the door open – daft codger.

  JACK puts the note on the bike’s saddle. CAROL is standing by the door.

  CAROL. Let me in then.

  JACK comes out. CAROL walks in. JACK takes a packet of cigarettes from his jacket pocket.

  (Slightly worried.) There’s a spider.

  JACK lights two cigarettes with his lighter, he gives one to CAROL.

  Let’s go soon.

  JACK puts his cigarettes away. They both smoke.

  JACK. I’m slightly drunk.

  CAROL. A thought yer were.

  The bugle-like call of a herring gull followed by the ‘kwuririp’ of a black-headed gull. JACK walks away from the hut.

  (Standing in the doorway.) Let’s go soon.

  The bugle-like call of a herring gull.

  JACK. It’s not the same, is it?

  He looks towards the German Skerries.

  CAROL. What a night to be out ’ere.

  JACK. That old man said the weather would break.

  CAROL. There’s no moon.

  JACK (startled. He has seen something at the German Skerries). Eh! Eh! Carol!

  He looks worried.

  CAROL. What’s the matter?

  JACK (staring). Can see sommat!

  CAROL (stepping out of the doorway). What’re you on about?

  JACK. Over there – somethin’s ’appenin’.

  CAROL (walking to him). Where?

  JACK. Over there on them rocks!

  CAROL. What rocks?

  The harsh cackling ‘kwuririp’ of a black-headed gull.

  JACK (frightened). It’s a German! It’s a fuckin’ German.

  CAROL (looking). What are you on about?

  JACK. Comin’ out the water. See it?

  CAROL (taking him more seriously). I can see something.

  JACK. It is, it’s a German.

  CAROL. What German?

  JACK. Climbin’ onto the rocks – look!

  CAROL. This is gettin’ silly.

  JACK. What we gonna do, Carol?

  CAROL. Turn the light out, we’ll see better.

  JACK. I think we should bloody go.

  CAROL. Don’t be silly, there’s got t’be an explanation.

  CAROL walks to the hut door. JACK is still staring towards the German Skerries.

  Where’s the light switch?

  JACK. By the door.

  CAROL turns the light out. It is very dark, they can only vaguely be seen.

  CAROL walks back to JACK.

  (Slightly calmer.) ’E’s on the rocks, look. Thess a glow in the water.

  CAROL. I alwez said this place was spooky.

  JACK (excited). Look a’tha’ glow! – thess a light in the water.

  CAROL puts her arm round his waist.

  CAROL. What d’yer think it is?

  JACK. It’s movin’, it’s a bloody arc light!

  The beam from a powerful arc light flits across them very quickly. It is dark again.

  Someone’s liftin’ it out of the water.

  CAROL. Why did you say it was a German?

  JACK (excited). It’s a bloody diver look! Can yer see ’im?

  The beam of the arc light pulls back across them.

  They’re shinin’ it at us.

  The beam passes. It is dark again.

  CAROL. D’ you think we ought to tell someone?

  JACK. ’Oo do we tell.

  CAROL. They could be doin’ anythin’!

  A gust of wind blows up.

  (Concerned.) We must do something.

  JACK (calmer). There’s another diver look, there’s two of ’em.

  A gust of wind blows up.

  CAROL. Why did you say it was a German?

  JACK. A story.

  CAROL. Anythin’ t’do with the war?

  JACK (doing a Nazi salute). Heil moustache!

  He marches for a moment, making explosion noises.

  CAROL. Come ’ere, I don’t like t’think of them out there.

  JACK puts his arm round her waist.

  A gust of wind blows up.

  The harsh cackling ‘kwuririp’ of a black-headed gull.

  JACK. Listen t’them gulls.

  CAROL (suddenly). John, there’s the lifeboat!

  They watch for a moment.

  JACK. It’s tryin’ a get near them rocks.

  A slight pause.

  One o’the divers has got a line.

  A slight pause.

  It can’t a’been a boat ’it the rocks, we’d of seen it, it’s low- tide.

  CAROL. There is a boat look, a small one.

  A slight pause.

  JACK. I int seen anythin’ like this since –

  A slight pause.

  A can’t think of owt. Since your mam’s face when she nearly caught us.

  A slight pause.

  CAROL. D’yer think we ought to tell the police?

  A slight pause.

  JACK. The divers are gettin’ in the lifeboat.

  A pause.

  (Whispering.) Get yer knickers off then.

  CAROL ignores him.

  (Whispering.) Get yer knickers off.

  A slight pause.

  CAROL. ’Aven’t you finished?

  JACK (cheekily). No. I like yer with yer knickers off.

  CAROL. Talk about the leopard changin’ ’is spots.

  JACK. I’m in love with yer.

  CAROL. Don’t think you can bribe me with that blackmail.

  JACK. It’s not blackmail, it’s true.

  CAROL. You wouldn’t know what was true if it stood up to shake hands with yer.

  JACK. Don’t say that about me.

  CAROL. What did we get married for?

  JACK. I like yer with yer clothes on as well. Sometimes, anyway.

  CAROL smiles at him.

  Yer mekk me feel awful.

  CAROL (putting her arm round his waist). I don’t mean to.

  JACK. Get ’em off then. (Kisses her on the cheek.) Cos I love yer.

  He kisses her on the lips.

  I’m feelin’ like I want t’be loved.

  CAROL. God, you are drunk.

  JACK (kissing her on the neck). Knickers, knickers, knickers.

  CAROL smiles.

  Know what I think about you.

  CAROL. Astound me.

  JACK. I think you’re wonderful. (Kissing her neck.) Second to Lilly Smithers ’oo I went out with when I was nine.

  CAROL. Yer not s’daft you, a’yer?

  JACK. I’m a brain surgeon.

  CAROL. The first brain to look at is yours.

  JACK (kissing her on the lips). Don’t be like that.

  He picks her up.

  I’m goin’ t’carry you across the threshold agen.

  He puts her down.

  CAROL. The first time you were so drunk you dropped me. I ’ad a big bruise on me bum f’weeks after.

  JACK. Don’t say that.

  He kisses her.

  CAROL. I don’t know ’ow we ever got to Carlisle.

  JACK. Love me.

  He puts his arm round her waist. They are looking towards the German Skerries.

  CAROL. The lifeboat’s goyn.

  A pause.

  JACK (more soberly). If I ’adn’t started comin’ ’ere with you I’d a never got interested in birdwatching.

  A slight pause.

  If your mam ’ad known.

  CAROL. Well she doesn’t and still doesn’t, I ’ope. That’s the way I want t’keep it.

  JACK. I might tell ’er. Give me some money an’ I won’t.

  CAROL. Have my dad t’face?

  JACK. I can stand up to ’im.

  CAROL. You and whose army?

  JACK. I could. I bet you were awful when you were at school bossin’ the other girls about.

  A slight pause.

  Your mam doesn’t like me.

  CAROL. Course she does, it’s just that yer never say anythin’.

 
JACK. A do.

  CAROL. Yer don’t – yer jus’ sit there.

  JACK. What am I supposed t’say? It’s yer dad, ’e puts me off – I open me mouth, then a change me mind. Cos he’s lookin’ at me.

  CAROL. Well don’t let ’im.

  JACK. ’Ow can a stop him? – he’s starin’.

  CAROL. That’s his way of bein’ friendly.

  JACK. A believe that.

  CAROL. It is. Stare back.

  JACK. A’ve tried. A go to take a slice o’bread an’ there ’e is lookin’ at me. A daren’t ask f’ the jam in case ’e kills me.

  CAROL. Yer exaggeratin’.

  JACK. I’m not. Ever since a first met ’im ’e’s been like that.

  CAROL. It’s because ’e’s in love with me.

  JACK. Get off.

  CAROL. I don’t mean sexual. He hated our Arnold. That’s why Arnold joined the army.

  JACK. Arnold?

  CAROL. Yes.

  JACK. ’Ow does that explain why ’e stares at me?

  CAROL. It does.

  JACK. I’ve never ’eard you say anthin’ like this before.

  CAROL. Let’s forget about it – me dad doesn’t matter.

  JACK. ’E does t’me.

  CAROL. Why should ’e? ’E’s nothin’ t’do with us.

  JACK. Well ’e is when I’m round there. An’ another thing I don’t like the way your mother calls me pet. I’m not ’er pet.

  CAROL. She’s bein’ friendly.

  JACK. Some friendly. I could see ’er workin’ it all out at the weddin’.

  CAROL. Don’t stare at me dad, that’s all. Me mam feels uncomfortable.

  JACK. Your ’ouse is so small there’s nowhere else to look.

  CAROL. Look at the floor.

  JACK. That’s what a do. That’s what yer tellin’ me not to do.

  CAROL. Yer arkward, you are.

  JACK. I can’t talk if I’m lookin’ at the floor.

  CAROL. Look at the ceiling then.

  JACK. If a do that, yer dad thinks I’m criticisin’ ’is handiwork – that big hole where Arnold put ’is foot through. A can’t win.

  A slight pause.

  CAROL. Just be polite.